The Cinnabon Edition
plus I take back everything bad I ever said about Krispy Kreme
This past week was, to put it mildly, a difficult week building on a difficult year for anyone who is Asian-American, as the racist attacks against them led to the murder of eight people in Atlanta. And as I write this, another mass shooting is occurring in the state I grew up in. America has a racism problem, we have a gun violence problem, and it requires work from each of us in order to address these.
If you are still looking for ways to help, check out this thread from Advancing Justice Atlanta on ways to contribute to the AAPI community in Georgia, this post from @zenerations with more general anti-racist tips and resources, and find ways to get involved to help end gun violence with Everytown.
Go ahead, click those links and do something to help someone else for a minute so you can do at least one good thing today. Bun stuff will be here when you get back.
All good?
Good, today we’re going back to the beginning. To the start of this bunventure, before the pandemic, before 2020, when my biggest day-to-day worry was why I couldn’t find a more accessible cinnamon roll, back to where it all started, at a little place called Cinnabon.
First, a Story About Cinnamonster
This whole quest really goes back to Cinnamonster, a mostly Colorado cinnamon roll chain that had a location at the outlet mall in the town I grew up (which was also the only thing to do in town growing up)1.
As a youth in the pre-internet, pre-mobile phone times, I would go out to the mall (either by bicycle or the single shuttle bus that made a big loop around town and weirdly no longer exists because the suburbs hate public transit) to kill time at the Sony store, or the toy store, or just walk around, and get a Cinnamonster. My mom also worked at one of the stores for a time, and would stop by at closing and take home whatever rolls they were going to toss. I’m pretty sure eight year old me lost my damn mind when this happened.
I still do.
At some point I think the Cinnamonster in the outlet mall closed, and as I traveled outside Colorado more my affection shifted towards Cinnabon simply due to it’s near-ubiquity. In my memory they’re both the same - fluffy dough overloaded with thick, gooey cinnamon and covered in an aggressive amount of cream cheese frosting (that Cinnamonster says “Grandma would have sold the farm for”2), although I’m sure if I had one of each now my well-trained palate could tell you the nuanced differences between the two3.
This all came to a head in 2019 as I was complaining to friends about the lack of cinnamon rolls in NYC, and how there weren’t (comparatively) that many Cinnabons (at the time I couldn’t have told you where one was), nor were there any bakeries trying to make their own twist on it. I resolved, then, in 2020, to get to the bottom of this and see if that was actually true or if I was just ignorant (in retrospect obviously the latter).
And here we are.
Let’s Talk Cinnabon
While Cinnamonster may hold a special place in my heart, y’all know and presumedly love Cinnabon. In my quest to find a better (or at least less artificial and more locally sourced) version, I did an official taste test on March 1, 2020, from a combination Burger King/Cinnabon in the Financial District. But before we get to the review, I came across some interesting facts about Cinnabon:
Did you know Cinnabon uses a custom cinnamon blend? It’s called Makara4, and is a cassia variety sourced from the Korintjie Region of Indonesia (also, notably, where Cinnamonster sources their cinnamon). It’s apparently less sweet and more fragrant, which…makes a lot of sense.
Personally I think the only true cinnamon is from Sri Lanka and everything else is just pretending, but unlike Alison Roman I use all the tools available to me and they all taste great.
Did you know you can buy Cinnabon online? Sold by Harry and David? I didn’t, until I just checked the website. You can buy regular size, mini size, and bite size, for all occasions.
WTF is this “moose munch”? I highly doubt any moose were involved in either the creation or consumption of this product
I also just found out they sell a “center of the roll” product in store, which is causing my mouth to spontaneously drool
Ok before this becomes an ad for Cinnabon let’s hit the review.
The roll itself came just heated from the microwave, with the right amount of frosting covering the top. Cinnabon's frosting is incredibly creamy, and you can taste the fat in every bite. Like, that feeling where your face starts to sweat because what you’re eating is so fatty. God it’s delicious. The dough is a bit gummy (unsurprising since they aren't fresh), and a bit sweeter than some of the other doughs. The cinnamon filling, Cinnabon's unique IP that they've licensed the world over, has a strong cinnamon flavor and is gooey in the best way possible. The entire roll is quite sweet, but it's much more mild than saccharine. You can taste the engineered perfection, which leads to fairly high marks (and this roll in particular was much better than I had expected). The only thing left wanting is a bit more authenticity (and maybe not so much grease/oil that the carton turns translucent), but honestly that's not what you come to Cinnabon for.
Krispy Kreme, I Take It All Back
Several editions ago I dumped on Krispy Kreme but they just pulled a move that has earned all the respect I can give a national donut chain:
Yes, that’s right, Krispy Kreme is giving anyone who shows up with their vaccine card one free original glazed donut, no purchase required, starting yesterday through the remainder of 2021. For those counting, that’s 281 free donuts. As if anyone needed a reason other than being able to spend time with your loved ones without the fear of catching or giving each other a deadly virus, now you can also get free sickly sweet donuts.
Seriously though, given what I imagine is a reasonably high overlap between Krispy Kreme’s customers and current vaccine skeptics anything that gets more people who are on the fence to get vaccinated is a good thing, particularly if we need 75% or more to get herd immunity (currently ~25% of people are not getting the vaccine, so this is close).
Their donuts are still too sweet IMO but this is a class act move, A+
Small Bites
Cinnamon is apparently healthy
Headline says it all - this blog post from the glucose tracking startup Levels goes through a bunch of medical science (SCIENCE) about why cinnamon is good for you, and namely that it lowers your blood glucose. So I guess when it’s in a cinnamon roll, it just balances out, right? Right?? I’m making healthy choices by eating as many cinnamon rolls as possible right????
Dr Smith, confirm this for me (Dr Smith is an actual licensed medical doctor who reads this newsletter, not just a boringly generic name I’m using to justify my behavior)
A combination Cinnamon Roll/Chocolate Chip Cookie
Finland is getting fucking nuts with their mashups:
This came across my feed from a trendy Finnish creative I follow, and it’s apparently a cinnamon roll with a chocolate chip cookie in the middle. Hell-to-the-fucking-yes please put it in my mouth
Even computers don’t know a bun from a roll
The New Yorker, god bless their niche reporting, published an article last week about an AI that was originally developed to distinguish different pastries and has now been adapted to figuring out which cells are cancerous. My main takeaways from this article:
Even computers have a hard time telling the difference between a bun and a roll and it took over a decade to get them decent at it
Bakeries in Japan are prized on their sheer variety, which sounds incredible, particularly their approach to using baked goods as food platforms for things like a carbonara sandwich
Needless to say it’s a great article, go read it, and let’s all meet up in Japan next year and binge on some buns ✌🏻
Also note that their website still has copyright 2018 on it, and their other major locations are in Kuwait. Thanks Bush, either of you, for going to war in Iraq I guess
Seriously that’s on their website
Before you say anything, yes I just put in an order from Cinnamonster’s site, if it actually works you’ll be getting a side-by-side with Cinnabon in the coming weeks
There’s a lot more interesting info in that article about Cinnabon, it’s a lot weirder company that you might expect: https://www.mashed.com/144675/the-untold-truth-of-cinnabon/
I'm down for a trip to the Coney Island Cinnabon for a "center of the roll"!