The Near Best, the Probably Worst, and the Mostly Zest

and I made a cookie the size of a dinner plate

I’m in Colorado this week, my first time out of the state of NY since Feb 2020 and first time back to my home state since Oct 2019. Very excited to report to you all next week the state of buns here, and how they make that magic happen with the rarified air in the Mile High City.

But for this week, we’re dipping a bit into the archives and covering some buns that I’ve been trying to find the right thread to tie them together. Hopefully this subject line entices and excites, because we’re going to try the best currently available cinnamon roll in Brooklyn, the worst cinnamon roll I officially rated, and the best roll that I had to get because they didn’t have cinnamon rolls. Get your taste buns ready 🏁

The Near Best

People on the street, they come up to me, they always ask me “John, where can I find the best cinnamon roll?”

“Mah-Ze-Dahr, in the West Village” I always say. Then I follow up with

“But if you’re in Brooklyn, you gotta check out Ciao Gloria. It’s real good.” (they’re always from Brooklyn)

Ciao Gloria is a very trendy italian cafe with a wide selection of interesting pastries and entrees, and their cinnamon roll is quite the standout. It comes slathered in an ultra creamy frosting, which is quite nearly the Platonic ideal of cream cheese frosting. Like, Plato wrote the allegory of the cave after he was eating some basic Philadelphia based shit his whole life then one morning woke up and had this and it was like seeing in color for the first time.

The dough is light and fluffy and oh-so-buttery, almost like a cross between a biscuit and pizza dough. Ciao Gloria is the only place I’ve been that had this dough, and more people should do it. Yeah brioche and sourdough and flakey are nice, but gimme dem nooks and crannies to let that goo and frosting nestle in. The cinnamon filling is just the right amount of gooey, but unfortunately a bit light outside of the center. It's just the right size for one person, not too big and not too small, and the flavor reminded me of the best parts of a Cinnabon.

Honestly if someone told me they liked this better than MZD, I wouldn’t argue. At this level of stratification it’s a matter of personal preference but everyone is going home a winner.

The Probably Worst

Now let’s go to the other end of the spectrum. Posh Pop Bakeshop's cinnamon rolls look delectable behind the glass, but unfortunately don't hold up when served. I got mine heated up, and after a quick pass through the oven the copious amounts of frosting completely covered the roll. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but the frosting was closer to traditional cupcake frosting and way too saccharine for my palette. The dough is a bit unusual, in that it's more dense than traditional cinnamon roll dough and there was basically one wrap around a very solid middle. The cinnamon filling was visible but you could hardly taste anything other than something odd and metallic. The ratios between the dough, filling, and frosting were all off, and each component missed the mark.

Now, you probably didn’t click the link so I’ll spoil it for you - these are gluten free!! I didn’t know that when I tried them, and I think that explains what’s up with the dough. I’ve yet to have a gluten free cinnamon roll that was good (I believe they exist out there, somewhere), so…unfortunately this keeps the trend. Posh Pop has other good treats for sure, but stay away from the rolls.

The Mostly Zest

Last summer I made a visit to Brooklyn Kolache, the…Brooklyn based..kolache bakery…under rumour they had a cinnamon roll. For those that don’t know, a kolache is basically a Czech galette with fluffier dough.

I arrived, and they had an orange roll. This was not a cinnamon roll, however it was still very good. They take their kolache dough, which is nice and thick and chewy, cover it with some sort of orange creamy filling, roll it up, and then douse it with an orange zest glaze. The lightness of the citrus is an excellent balance to the weight of the dough, and it's quite tasty and filling. High marks for flavor, but again not a cinnamon roll. They just opened up a new location in the West Village (yet still called Brooklyn Kolache 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔) so I’ll keep checking back in to see if their cinnamon roll ever makes an appearance.

Small Bites

Cinnamon Roll Bread Pudding

Why is this in small bites? Well, upon ordering I don’t think it quite lives up to it’s name. From Stout Street Social in Denver, it claims to be bread pudding with apples, walnuts, caramel sauce, and a la mode. It did come out pan fried, which I was into! Crispy outside and that yummy bread pudding texture inside, but unfortunately the flavor didn’t quite live up to it’s name. There wasn’t a whole lot of cinnamon going on, and this mostly just tasted like caramel and bread pudding and walnuts. I didn’t realize there were apples in it until I looked it up for this review, true story. This was all still good, but just call it bread pudding - the mention of cinnamon roll is quite misleading.

Blue Apron Brown Butter Skillet Cookie with Chocolate Chips

This beast of a cookie, aka the BABBSCwCC (it’s pronounced babbscwcc) was another add-on I ordered last week. I don’t own a skillet, so this just went into my normal all-purpose non-stick pan which was a bit too big, and I maybe used too much baking powder because they came out a bit too thin and crispy for my taste, or that could’ve just been overcooking, honestly who knows. But it was pretty good! Couldn’t taste the brown butter that much, but bun bud Lillian had one today and said “this is good!” so there you have it. I cut them up into six pizza slices and stacked them high here, but you can see my thumb (which is a normal sized thumb), so this was a big cookie.

Hasta la bunsta, bb 😎

I’ll be back next week with all my Colorado reviews, so keep that inbox peeled 👀